17 October 2015

a load of old bulls

On the Trail of the Yellow Fingernail - Part 9


Recap: Our hero, if you can call him that has been sent on a wild goose chase to track down the mysterious Yellow Fingernail. A criminal who has brought chaos to the sleepy village of Leyhill, having stolen the Summer fete stalls. After not meeting his father, John also met an unhelpful boy who was wearing a false beard! He also found a note that's asked him to head for the barn across the field in front of him for a meeting with the Yellow Fingernail himself or so he thinks.

Lost in Shoes
Said barn was quite a way in the distance, but travel there I must and with renewed hope of meeting the Yellow Fingernail and ending this pointless chase. Negotiating the field seemed relatively easy at first. Until losing a shoe in a ditch mid way across. It was boggy and I hadn't noticed it from all the wheat hiding it. I'd been keeping an eye out for the farmer, sure he was going to shout abuse at me or something. I needn't had worried about that, but the shoe was lost, and continue I must, hampered somewhat but with spirits high. What I hadn't realised was that there was another field between the one I was in and the barn. Thankfully it was just grass, so I would be able to quicken my pace. The adrenaline now beginning to flow. 

The bull
Having clambered over the fence. What I hadn't noticed was that a bull had been minding its own business in the far corner. Seeing a rather bedraggled, unshaven man who also smelled horrendously had caught the bulls attention. He wasn't minding his own business anymore. Needing to investigate this strange human who was making its way across his field. When I caught its eye, and he with mine, my face turned from pensive to down right scared! I quickened my pace, then sprinting as the bull fast approached. As the fence neared, so did the bull. Managing to just avoid its horns as I jumped over the fence like some high jumper and to safety. The bull seemed disappointed and with a snort of its nose it turned and went back to its corner. Wiping away the remnants of its snort I turned to see the barn before me.

A load of old bull
The barn was tall and strangely imposing. As I got closer I suddenly froze. There were voices coming from within. Had the boy in the false beard and the letter really led me to the hideout of the Yellow Fingernail? Was I about to finally come face to face with this villain? I crept up to the  barn door and listened to the conversation. 

"I'll raise you two cows".
"Only two! You must be joking. Nothing less than three bulls." 
"Three bulls! I've got the best bulls this side of the county"
"Best bulls! You! Your bulls don't even touch the quality of my bulls."
"What about my bulls" piped up another farmer. 
"And mine. Won the best bull in show last year. You'll be hard pushed to beat my bulls". Said another.

This conversation seemed to carry in much the same way for the next 10 minutes or so. It seemed to be going nowhere. I needed some answers so stumbled through the open barn door. 

A lot more bull
"I've had enough of your bulls." I shouted. "Could someone please let me know if there is someone hiding here by the name of the Yellow Fingernail? I was told they would be in this barn."
One of the farmers pipped up. "Why would we tell you?"

I had to agree with him, but carried on unperturbed. I explained my situation. They all look none the wisher when I had finished. They then huddled together for a moment and the farmer that originally spoke replied. "No. Try the barn over there". He pointed out and beyond the barn door. I turned to see another barn in the next field."Oh, right". I slowly backed away as the farmers seem a little bullish from me interrupting them. I let them get back to their bulls! 

So the next barn was the one. Surely this was the moment I would finally meet the person who had taken me on this crazy journey? I was about to find out the truth of the villages fete stalls or was something unexpected about to happen?

Coming soon: The explosive conclusion (literally) of On the Trail of the Yellow Fingernail

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